ARE YOU SELF CONFIDENT?

Hi all! It has been quite a while since I have posted in this area! I have been
E X T R E M E L Y busy organising my wedding (only 22 days… I’m not counting… HA) and I have not had time to even sit down and take a breath. Today I decided to take some time out of my day and talk about something that has been on my mind lately. It is something that I have caught myself doing quite a bit lately and since it is Summer here in Spain it is beach and pool season and I know many girls are doing exactly the same thing as me. So let’s have a chat!

Many people always tell me that I am extremely confident within myself and also ask me how they can become that confident within their bodies. The truth is that I have worked so very hard mentally (and physically) to get to where I am today and to feel the way I do about my body. Although most days I do wake up and feel extremely confident and show my body some love by picking out areas that I really like about myself, for example:

19047531_330608107361413_1232781270_n

 

 

“Wow! My eyes are beautiful and big”

 

“Damn my bootay is popping today!”

 

“I am a very kind person. I love to help people in any way I can. What a beautiful trait”

 

 

 

 

I do wake up some days absolutely hating certain areas of my body and I’ll literally sit there pulling and tugging at my tummy thinking “if only I had a flat stomach everyday with a few abs showing through” or “Urgh freaking cellulite you can piss right off!”. Let’s just be real, we ALL have insecurities in terms of our bodies. It is inevitable. No matter how hard you work to fix one part of your body that you feel needs adjusting, when you are happy with that area you will find another area that you are not so happy with and it is just a vicious cycle. Even the most beautiful celebrities have insecurities about themselves, so remember it is not just you!

We are extremely hard on ourselves. We are all different. We are all unique. That part of your body that you are hating on is usually the part of your body that people admire when they look at you. I can almost hear you say “but in school people always tease me about this and about that”. FORGET ABOUT SCHOOL! When you are done with school whatever those bullies have said to you means absolutely nothing! It should mean nothing to you right now! Usually people pick on certain areas of your body because they are insecure about themselves and the body part they choose to bully you about is generally the area that they wish they had. I remember when I was in school I was always told that I had a “fat ass”, in those exact words. Obviously I became a little self-conscious about my buttocks but I now see the girls that used to say that crap to me, at the gym working on getting a BIGGER BUTT! Like seriously, are you going to take in what those people say and lose sleep over it?? I sure as hell wouldn’t because it DOESN’T. MEAN. ANYTHING.

One insecurity about my body is that I feel like my hips are too wide. I honestly look at my body and think “my hips are so big that it makes my body look disproportionate” and other people have told me “I really wish I had your body shape” or “wow your curves are amazing, I wish I had curves like yours!”

WE. ALL. DO. THIS.

We all wish we had something that someone else has! Doing this is not abnormal, it is actually completely normal! JLo does this. Kim K does this. Jennifer Lawrence does this. Everyone does this! In saying that this is normal it does not mean that it is fair to ourselves or our bodies. By doing this, we speak negatively to ourselves. Our minds work like muscle memory. If you are not used to training legs, well it is tough at the beginning and you don’t feel strong at all. However, if you keep training you become stronger and stronger. If one day you are injured or become ill and you have to stop training for a few weeks or months, when you come back to training, although you feel a lot weaker, it will never be as difficult to build up that strength again as it was the first time. Your mind works exactly the same! Repetition strengthens any aspect in life. Just like studying for an exam. You repeat everything to remember answers in your exam and no matter how much you think you have forgotten throughout the years, you will never completely forget anything you have repeated to yourself over and over again.

So why don’t we start being kind to ourselves and more positive and start loving our bodies for what they are. I would like for all of you reading to try and do something for me and most importantly for yourselves. Wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror, and this time instead of focusing on the areas that you don’t really fancy, focus on parts of your body that you love as you try and reach your goals of forming abs, or cutting your hair because your don’t particularly like the style. Doing this has made me change the way I feel and the way I treat my body. You should do the same!

In the comments tell me one of your insecurities and two things that you love about yourself 🙂

Have you read my transformation story?

Talia ❤

 

 

 

R U Okay?

Today is a special kind of day… it is R U Okay Day!

Many people suffer from mental illnesses causing them to keep their emotional state to themselves while allowing others to believe that they are OK. They either find it difficult to express their feelings or they may feel that people do not really care about how they are feeling. Sadly, the person feeling these kinds of emotions may turn to ending their own lives. This is not the way a person should be feeling!

We can change this as a community!

There are three little words that make all the difference “Are you Okay?” These words can start a meaningful conversation about a person’s feelings and most importantly can change a life. We should all make it part of our daily routine to ask someone how they are doing. If their response is negative, reassure them that they are not alone, that you are a good listener and ask them if there is anyway that you could be of some help to them.

Let’s change someone’s life!
Are you in?

https://www.ruok.org.au/

Talia xo

Don’t Let Those Bullies Get The Better Of You!

I can guarantee you 110% that all of you have been bullied at least once in your lifetime. Whether it be in school, in your workplace, or even just walking down the street. We have all been in a similar situation, unfortunately, some more than others. Some of us find it extremely difficult to deal with the different emotions that we are feeling in these situations – sadness, anger, frustration, confusion (just to name a few). As a result of these emotions you may feel the need to retaliate, by punching the bully in the face, yelling at the bully, or sometimes you may just deal with these emotions by bottling everything up inside, keep quiet, and when you are alone in your room you will just cry.

NEITHER OF THESE ARE HEALTHY!

As I have been a victim of bullying myself, and as I have seen first hand the psychological implications (i.e. depression, low self-esteem) it can have on people – children, adolescents, adults – I would like to share some advice with you. Whether you are being bullied, you are a witness to someone else being bullied, or whether you are the one bullying others, I hope that my advice can help you deal with this horrible situation and make things easier for you. And as for the bullies, I hope that I can make you realise just how much hurt you are causing to others. I would love to say that I will stop bullying altogether, but unfortunately, as sad as it is I cannot and neither can anyone else. In saying this, hopefully, we as a community can at least decrease the amount of bullying happening, so that we can live our life feeling happy, safe, and loved, as we should.

I was always told that when a bully said something nasty to me that I should not even acknowledge them and that I should let the nasty comment pass in through one ear and out the other. But, as we all know this cliché saying is a lot easier said than done. So at first I used to not say anything and keep these nasty comments along with the sadness I was feeling, bottle up inside. After a few months the bully continued, with the comments becoming nastier and a lot more hurtful. Instead of feeling sad, I became angry and frustrated, and this is when I began to retaliate. I used to yell back at the bully and say exactly the same hurtful things. My parents always said to me that retaliating and bringing myself down to the bully’s level was not going to make things better. And looking back now, it is so true! In fact, it makes you feel worse because all you are doing is playing, as I like to call it, “verbal tennis” with the bully, spitting out nasty words and comments back and forth between each other… yeah..things stayed about the same…
One thing to keep in mind is that usually the person doing all the bullying is most probably having issues in their own life, with caregivers and/or siblings. And another thing that could cause these bullies to harass others it their low self-esteem. These people may feel so low about themselves that they use bullying others in order to feel better about themselves. So, I know that it is hard, but by taking these things into consideration, please try not to take anything that the bully says or does personally. Ignore what they say and walk away. Once you do this a few times, the bully tends to get bored because they are not gaining the satisfaction of you retaliating or seeing you cry, so they move on.

You may feel that the bully is stronger than you, both physically and mentally. Why is that? In my experiences (both with being the victim and a witness) the bully has a group of friends that do and say exactly the same things. So you may be intimidated by a group of bullies against you. I know I felt this way. But what I also realised was that when the bully is alone, without their group of “friends”, they are weak. They don’t have their “friends” to back them up or to encourage them. So please know that YOU are the strongest person in this situation.

I have placed the word friends in between quotation marks because these so called “friends” are not really the bully’s friend. They are friends one day and then the next day they are hating on each other. I have noticed that they are all against each other, and fights that you see, especially at school, are, more often than not between two or more bullies that call each other “friends”. They are always talking badly about each other behind their backs. On the day that they are “friends” they will get together and act tough and bigger than you in order to intimidate you, usually picking on the person that doesn’t talk much or that is more likely to retaliate. But as you can see from this, they are no bigger or stronger than you are, you only perceive them to be like this because there are more of them and one of you.

Nowadays with various Social Networking Sites, unfortunately the harassment is taken from offline encounters to online ones, referred to as cyber bullying. Not only do you have to deal with the bully at school or at work, but you also have to read there comments on Facebook, twitter, etc. In this case I suggest to report the user that is harassing you online, and block them. This is pretty much the only solution to this problem. Or you can go to the extreme of deleting your Facebook and/or Twitter account. But to this I say “Why should you?”. You have your own group of friends and family on these sites to keep in contact with, so I don’t see the need to delete the account. By blocking and reporting the other user should do the trick for cyber bullying. But as for offline encounters, there are other ways.

If by ignoring the bully doesn’t work, try a different trick. Have you ever heard of the “Act of Kindness”? Well, that’s the trick! I know you are thinking “why should I be kind to them if they are being extremely nasty to me?”. Bullies hate, they absolutely HATE when the person they are bullying are kind to them. And if you continue being kind they will get so fed up with your kindness that, as I said before, because you are not giving them the satisfaction of seeing you cry, they will move on.

Please, do not be afraid to talk to someone, because most of the time by dealing with these bullies on your own and keeping it bottled up inside can lead to various psychological problems, depression being the main one. Even if by talking to someone, like a school councelor, psychologist, parent or caregiver, doesn’t stop the bully, it is at least helping you by getting your feelings out in the open. By doing this you will feel as if a massive weight has ben lifted off your chest and you will just feel better.

Lastly, it gets better! Please trust me when I say this. Especially to the people still in school, you are going to finish your school years and you and your bully are going to lead different lives. You are not going to be together forever. When you leave school you do not have to see them again.

I hope this advice has helped at least a few of you and please share this blog to friends and family so that I know that I have tried to give advice to as many of you as I can and hopefully hep you. If you have any questions or would like advice on anything else please put them in the comments and I will be sure to get back to you. Also, don’t forget to check out my Youtube beauty channel and subscribe.

http://www.youtube.com/bellafloresa

Talk soon 🙂

xo